A couple months ago, I brought up the topic of marriage when speaking with one of my single Catholic friends. She mentioned several of her single friends–all in their 30’s–who are content and living fulfilling lives without a boyfriend. The sentiment was clear. Women nowadays were fine without a relationship, even thriving.  Other never-married Catholic women in their 30’s and 40’s women I have spoken to have expressed similar thoughts as my friend. They either don't make an effort to be in a relationship or they've tried dating (online dating, even speed dating) without success. Many of these women are choosing to opt out because they don't view marriage as obtainable, worth the effort of pursuing, or even ideal (after all, there are unhappy marriages and divorces). Women also have the choice to remain with their parents (even take care of them) or live independently. Actively seeking a spouse is then, in turn, perceived as being desperate because you are attempting to control something that should be providential. This perception prevents people from putting themselves out there or expressing their desire for marriage. In reality, the desire for a spouse is a source of sanctification. God places in us the desire to get married so that we can pursue a relationship, get married, and create our own family. Within a marriage, a spouse learns to be more vulnerable, generous, loving, selfless, and forgiving. To be open to marriage is to be open to change in all areas of your life. To desire marriage is to desire to be a better person not just for yourself, but for your future family. The desire for marriage is both holy and natural. There's a reason why rom-coms are so popular and why fairy tales often feature a love story. Love stories are magical, and meeting someone you want to spend your whole life with (who feels the same way about you) is miraculous. Everyone desires to be loved and everyone wants a happy ending. For a Catholic, what is more romantic than being loved and accepted by someone who wants to raise future saints with you? What about Catholics called to other vocations? Well, many priests, religious sisters, and consecrated virgins desired marriage before they were called to their respective vocations. Without the support of their married parents, they may not have even discerned and chosen their vocations. As they live out their calling, these very same priests and religious become huge advocates of marriage and empathize with those seeking a spouse.   If you feel called to marriage, Seeking with Saintly Hearts: A Novena to St. Valentine invites you to entrust that desire for love to God. Stay tuned for my next blog about preparing your heart for a future spouse.