“When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her.” - Venerable Fulton Sheen When you think of your future spouse, you may think of certain characteristics or attributes that the person could have, but would you be ready for the person if you met them today? Are you prepared spiritually, mentally, physically, and financially to support that person's needs? Could you put aside your pride, anger, and ego for the sake of peace? Could you forgive the person if they said or did things that truly hurt you?  Nobody is perfect; we are all works in progress. We all have our vices, struggles, and traumas. The most important thing is that we try to heal, improve, and change for the people around us. It's not an easy task. It may even require professional help. But anything is possible with God! Below are three small changes you can make to prepare your heart for your future spouse.   Start your day in gratitude    It's human nature to compare ourselves to others and feel disappointed by what we lack. One helpful practice to combat this is to offer a prayer of thanksgiving every morning. Even if you don't have a spouse yet, God has given you so many blessings that you may not even be fully aware of! You can spend 10 to 15 minutes thinking of and praying about all your blessings. You can also list your blessings in a gratitude journal to look back and reflect on. This practice also helps you cultivate a grateful heart. Tip: There's a Catholic hymn called “Give Thanks” that's often sung in churches. During days when you're having a particularly hard time thinking of what to thank God for, you can just listen to, or sing, that song.   Spend an hour in silence In our day-to-day life, we listen to music, watch videos, and listen to podcasts to entertain us, distract us, and inform us. I've even noticed some people leave their TV on without watching it simply for there to be some noise in the background! Some people are really afraid to be alone with their thoughts, but God's messages can only come to us when we leave space for Him.  Silence will allow you to be more aware of your thoughts and feelings so that you can process your emotions and communicate better not only with your future spouse, but with the people around you. Silence can also help you discern important decisions (like who to marry) from a place of peace, trust, and self-assuredness. In the silence of our hearts, He speaks. You don't necessarily have to pray during the hour of silence; but simply allow yourself to sit in it. Tip: If a nearby parish offers Adoration, you can drop by for an hour. If that isn’t possible, leave the last hour before you go to sleep as your hour of silence. If you start to enjoy the silence, you can try increasing the time from one hour to two hours (or more), or even register for a silent retreat.   Pray the Act of Contrition The Act of Contrition is beautiful to pray not just during Confession, but even when you haven't sinned, because (in the version I use) the last promise you make in that prayer is “to amend [your] life.” This prayer can help you acknowledge and overcome your vices and sins and allow you to regularly check in with yourself, a lot like an examen. Praying the Act of Contrition can help you cultivate accountability, so that when you meet your future spouse, you can admit when you’re wrong, and apologize and seek forgiveness whenever you say or do something hurtful to your future spouse. The contrite heart is a humble one that seeks forgiveness on a daily basis. And God can take our broken hearts (or hearts of stone) and make them new if we allow Him to. Tip: Memorize a version of the Act of Contrition that speaks to you. You can even compose your own Act of Contrition if you want to make the prayer more tailored or heartfelt!    If you feel called to married life and are hoping to meet your spouse, Seeking with Saintly Hearts: A Novena to St. Valentine invites you to entrust that desire for love to God. Stay tuned for my last blog that touches on the love found in every vocation.